Real Estate Agents like sports. So, I am going to do a weekly post about sports. Unfortunately, we are currently in the most boring time of the year for this topic. There is no basketball, no hockey, and no football. Also, Game of Thrones is over. So, the only thing I can cover is baseball because nobody wants to hear my analysis on Wimbledon or the Women's World Cup. I am also pretty sure nobody cares about why I think the Baltimore Orioles are going to win the World Series. So, I wrote a genius poem about why baseball sucks now.
Some reasons why baseball used to be first
Steroids were legal and the Red Sox were cursed
Maddux and Clemens had un-aging guns
While Big Mac and Sosa were blasting home runs
Chipper played third while the fans yelled out “Larry!”
And out in the Bay was some slugger named Barry
“The Kid” roamed in center before he retired
While the Yanks won with Torre before he was fired
Now Baseball is brutal, you will see that I’m right
Because your least favorite show is Baseball Tonight
Oh the A’s played the Cards in an interleague thriller?
The Pirates lead the Central? Man that is killer
An extra inning highlight is my biggest fear
July and August are worst months of the year
I’d rather watch “Friends,” where is the clicker?
Or Nascar highlights, that’s even sicker
Give me sacks and hits and TD passes
End-zone celebrations and cheerleaders’ asses
Brady vs. Peyton in an AFC rumble,
Or a play simply known as “The butt-fumble”
I beg you baseball, I’m on my knees
Nobody wants to hear about PED’s
Suspending the players who are fun to watch?
Thanks a lot Selig your balls hang past your crotch
How can baseball come back? The answer is simple
We need huge throbbing heads and back pimples
500-foot jacks and a home-run chase
Every player roided off of their face
Until this happens I’ll turn my head
And I’ll only watch to sleep in my bed
I’ll dream of golf, and tennis, or hockey pucks
Because it is officially confirmed that baseball sucks
