"I just couldn't take it anymore," said a disgruntled Dallas realtor named Lou Aarons. "The smell was unbearable and it almost lost me one of my deals." Lou ended a four year relationship with his general housing inspector this past weekend after he found the master bathroom in one of his listings overflowing. According to Lou, Ned Harris (55 years old) would ask to use the bathroom immediately upon arrival at their inspection appointments. "He would shake my hand and then sprint to the bathroom every single time," Lou said. "At first I shrugged it off because I know he lives on the other side of town from most of my listings. However, the past three homes he inspected were all left with un-flushable catastrophes." Lou explained that his buyers were present at the last inspection getting measurements for their furniture. Apparently, Ned was sneaking out of the master bath when they were getting the dimensions of the bedroom. The wife went in and let out a horrifying scream after witnessing the destruction that Ned had produced. Lou claims that the buyer fainted after finding fecal matter sprayed all over the ceiling. She tried to convince her husband to call off the deal. "It was at this point I realized that I could no longer work with Ned," Lou regretfully explained. "It's a shame because he did a very thorough job. But, he couldn't seem to control his explosive defecation tendencies." Sources say that Lou did end up closing the deal while Ned continues to look for work.
The Key to Surviving Real Estate