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A Realtor at a Coffee Shop

April 25, 2016

Have you ever said to yourself: "I'm going to work at Starbucks today?" Well today, I said that, and let me tell you it was the most miserable experience of my life. The reason to work at Starbucks is simple: you are too lazy to drive to the office, but you want to trick yourself into thinking you are being more productive in a public setting. My reason for working at Starbucks was also simple: I had to get out of my apartment before I blasted a hole in my computer with my 6-iron. I got an email this morning from some asshole agent that the offer I submitted yesterday was rejected. Chill. So, I decided to put on my sandals and head over to the Starbucks across the street to get some quality lead gen in. The second I got there I regretted my decision. The line was almost out the door, and the only place available to put my laptop was at a community table with a couple of actual aliens. Also, there was another agent sitting behind me with his bluetooth in obnoxiously yelling on the phone. How could I tell he was an agent? He literally had a name tag on with his brokerage tattooed across his collared shirt. I'll leave the brokerage open for interpretation.

After getting my pumpkin spice latte (yes, they are incredible), I opened up my computer and began poking around the MLS. After one sip I had to immediately use the restroom where the barista gave me some elaborate code that I forgot upon hearing. It was six digits long. Once I got back to my uncomfortable communal seat I put in my headphones to drown out: "April, you're venti iced with whole milk is ready!" every five seconds. After ten minutes of solid email responding, I decided to get one of those "Thai Chicken Wraps" to hold me over for another hour or so. I took one bite of it and almost puked up the entire thing on the fake author across from me. Once my computer died, I packed up my bag and went back to the comfort of my own home. In conclusion, the office might be better than a coffee shop.

In Just Make Me Laugh
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