Star Wars: Real Estate Awakens

First off, if you have not seen Star Wars I flat out do not trust you. Second, if you like Star Trek better than Star Wars you have terrible taste. So, if you do not know who Chewbacca is please close your computer or phone and rethink your entire existence. Below is the office dynamic Star Wars style.

Understand that there are dark side agents and light side agents. Dark side agents will do anything and everything for a commission. They will literally screw their best friend's mother for a listing. They do not give a shit about you, your client, or the general common courtesy of humanity. You know exactly who they are in your office. Oh, they want to see a home right now and it does not fit your schedule? Fuck you! It fits their schedule. So, prepare to get yelled at and torn a new one as the evil empire makes you feel like an insignificant pile of over-used, scratched up open house signs.

Light side agents do everything by the book. They are the Hufflepuffs. They actually care about respect and reputation. You get it.

Darth Vader: This is the highest ranking person in your brokerage. Everyone is scared shitless of them and he/she can kill your entire career with one hand movement.

Salacious Crumb: This is the person that works on staff in your office. He will do everything for his boss and brokerage. He will laugh at everyone's terrible jokes and will never leave for a better job.

Jar Jar Binks: This agent literally does not know shit and has no place being in this industry at all.

Luke Skywalker: This is the younger agent in your office that is kind of helpless, but is well-liked and hard working. He is always seeking help from the elder agents (the Jedi Council), and eventually becomes a solid agent doing everything by the book.

Anakin Skywalker: This is the younger agent that starts in the business doing everything right. He makes the right connections and works his ass off training and recognizing market trends. He is talented. However, he realizes that he can get way more money if he starts screwing people over and becoming a huge asshole. He eventually fucks over everyone he knows and starts his own brokerage and becomes Vader.

Han Solo: This is the coolest agent in your office. He is probably having sex with the receptionist or at least one of the younger, hot assistants. He is also married to an absolute bombshell. You are not exactly sure how he gets his business, but you know he is killing it. He always comes into your office with a smirk and drops a one-liner that makes you say: "damn, this guy is the man."

Chewbacca: Chewy is the faithful agent assistant. He is not out there for himself, and he is loyal to his boss. He will do anything and everything to get a deal done for his boss. If he has to a show a house at 6AM on a Saturday in a blizzard he will do it because he knows he is rolling with Han.

Yoda: This is the person in your office that literally knows everything. Everyone turns to him for questions about anything real estate related. He has been in the industry since he was a fetus and has been training top agents forever.