How To Become A Successful Realtor: Be Rich and Know Other Rich People

This is the most honest blog title on the internet.

Wouldn't it be refreshing to hear someone tell you that they became successful in real estate because they were rich and knew a bunch of other rich people? Picture this: a successful realtor is on a panel at a conference and gets asked what he does to generate new leads. He responds by saying: "Well, I come from a lot of money. My father got involved in the Entertainment industry at an early age and basically knows everybody from Al Pacino to Kendall Jenner. Because of how rich we are, I grew up in a rich neighborhood and played with all of the other rich kids. In fact, I used to go to Greece every summer with Kate Winslet. As I grew up I went to a high school in Beverly Hills where I met other rich as hell students. I obviously skipped college because I didn't need to learn anything or work a day in my life. So, I got my real estate license. I don't even really know how to properly fill out a purchase agreement. In fact, I outsource most of logistical tasks to my team. But, I have the best connections on the planet. So, every time someone famous wants to buy or sell a home, they use me. I haven't cold called once. I haven't door knocked. The leads come to me. You can get a real estate coach, build your brand, farm neighborhoods, and work your sphere of influence...but it will never be as effective as already knowing rich people."

(Drops mic) - Crowd silenced

That was purposefully a little extreme. But, I think it would be awesome for one of these millionaire agents to actually admit something like that! Obviously, not every successful agent is born with connections. But, it seems like this particular aspect of real estate always seems to go unspoken. Is it because it is superficial and people are scared of how it would sound? What if a real estate coach actually told you to befriend rich people and use their connections? I know that is taboo and "unethical," but it makes more sense than blindly calling a bunch of numbers that don't work! All I am saying is that I am sick of hearing success stories of the agents who claim that their work ethic and desire got them business. Like...you failed to mention that your dad owns the brokerage.  

Realtor Confessions: The Weirdest Thing You Have Walked In On

Last weekend I walked in on an agent playing Bop It at a dead open house. I posted it to Instagram and captioned it: "What is the weirdest thing you have walked in on?"  As I expected, the results were stunning and hilarious.

Here is my original post:

Here are the comments: 

Thor Bought A Pretty Sick House in Malibu

Chris Hemsworth and his hot wife Elsa Pataky just bought a "pretty cool" house in Malibu. I say "pretty cool" because I didn't see an ocean view in the MLS photos. Come on Thor, you are going to spend $3.45 million on a house that doesn't have a view of the Pacific? The 750-bottle wine cellar is a valuable addition for Chris Hemsworth's brother who also lives in Malibu. Now the slightly less good-looking sibling has somewhere to get shit-faced when Miley Cyrus decides to go for girls again. 

For more photos of Thor's underwhelming purchase, go to blog where I got this story: http://la.curbed.com/2016/4/7/11379474/thor-chris-hemsworth-malibu

Kobe Bryant to Become Real Estate Agent After Retirement?

Nope! That title was what we like to call: "click bait." Kobe is worth $400 million. He's not about to start door-knocking with you and your buddies at Keller Williams. Sorry. But, there actually is a fair amount of athletes who got into the real estate game after injuries and retirement. Here is a brief list from an article I read in 2008.

1) Holly Rillinger

Wait what? You haven't heard of the former WNBA point guard Holly Rilinger?! Nobody has! But, she played for my favorite team, The Phoenix Mercury, and now works for Douglas Elliman in Phoenix.  By the way that photo is a picture of Holly Rillinger, the fitness mogul. I have no idea if she is the same person as the WNBA star. 

2) Roger Staubach

That's right. The Former Hall of Fame Cowboy quarterback started his own Commercial firm which was acquired by Lones Lang La Salle for $613 million. 

3) Emmit Smith

The most sturdy running back ever joined Staubach and Co. in commercial real estate in Dallas.

4) Mo Vaughn

Remember this power hitting first baseman for the Red Sox? I hated him! Now, instead of launching cheap homers over Pesky Pole he is selling commercial real estate and failing miserably at it! 

5) Andre Agassi

The former bad boy of tennis dabbles in commercial real estate according to an article I read in 2014. That is all the research I care to do on the issue. 

Why Every Agent Should Get On Snapchat Now

I downloaded Snapchat in college for the same reason that every person my age did: nude pictures. Since the app's inception in 2011, Snapchat has evolved from a fun flirtation method to a full-blown social platform. With the recent additions to the Story and Discover features, Snapchat has become a key marketing tool for brands and businesses to reach consumers on an entirely different level. Following its traditional core, the real estate industry seems to be hesitant to adopt the technology. So, the question lies: why should real estate agents get on Snapchat? How can it help your business?

Using new technologies and downloading new apps gives consumers anxiety. Every time I hear about a new app like Vine or Periscope, I think to myself, "shit, another one?" I remember not even wanting to make the transition from MySpace to Facebook. I liked the way my Top 8 was organized and I didn't want Tracy to think I liked her less than Micaela. But, you have to go to where your consumers are or will be in the future. Think about this. Like the demographic of Snapchat, Facebook started as a hub for teenage girls. Now, your distant aunt is uploading videos and commenting on every single one of your photos. The "age-ificaiton" process is already happening to Snapchat. Be ahead of the trend. 

HOW CAN THIS HELP ME IN REAL ESTATE?

All anyone cares about is how new technologies can help them get business. First, I believe that you should download Snapchat because it is free and because it is fun. But, it is also a fantastic way to record videos and give home tours to your clients. It is quick and simple to upload a walk through to your followers with the touch of your thumb. My favorite aspect of Snapchat is the candid ability to show who you are. It is the most authentic way to reach your followers without blasting them with phone calls, texts, or emails. Your clients want to see the other side of you that is not the mythological perfectionist real estate agent. Record entertaining videos not just of your homes, but of your daily activities to reach consumers on a much more intimate level. Give them market updates while you are sitting on the couch drinking whiskey. Tell them about a new home you saw on caravan or send them a photo of your fat, festering cat. It doesn't matter. Keep people engaged. Also, the new filters on Snapchat allow you to be extremely funny without any effort at all. Everyone likes funny. Also, you don't even have to record videos to use the app. So, if you think your life is just too boring you can follow other people and be forever entertained at a dead open house. You can watch Kylie Jenner make lip faces to rap music all day. You can follow inspirational speakers and real estate coaches to get your daily motivation. You can send nudes to your friends!  Either way, it's free and Gary Vaynerchuk said it will be huge for business.  Get on it right now and start gaining the following that you are already missing out on. 

The Broke Agent is obviously on Snapchat: @thebrokeagent

Video of Mamba's Top 50 Dunks

Stop looking through the MLS and watch Kobe dunk. Just in case you forgot what this dude could do before his knees were broken. 

The Jungle Book Monkey Dancing Scene: Video

If you are bored in your office watch this. It will put a smile on your face. They better keep this in the new Jungle Book Movie.  This might be the best Disney song of all time. 

Star Wars: Real Estate Awakens

First off, if you have not seen Star Wars I flat out do not trust you. Second, if you like Star Trek better than Star Wars you have terrible taste. So, if you do not know who Chewbacca is please close your computer or phone and rethink your entire existence. Below is the office dynamic Star Wars style.

Understand that there are dark side agents and light side agents. Dark side agents will do anything and everything for a commission. They will literally screw their best friend's mother for a listing. They do not give a shit about you, your client, or the general common courtesy of humanity. You know exactly who they are in your office. Oh, they want to see a home right now and it does not fit your schedule? Fuck you! It fits their schedule. So, prepare to get yelled at and torn a new one as the evil empire makes you feel like an insignificant pile of over-used, scratched up open house signs.

Light side agents do everything by the book. They are the Hufflepuffs. They actually care about respect and reputation. You get it.

Darth Vader: This is the highest ranking person in your brokerage. Everyone is scared shitless of them and he/she can kill your entire career with one hand movement.

Salacious Crumb: This is the person that works on staff in your office. He will do everything for his boss and brokerage. He will laugh at everyone's terrible jokes and will never leave for a better job.

Jar Jar Binks: This agent literally does not know shit and has no place being in this industry at all.

Luke Skywalker: This is the younger agent in your office that is kind of helpless, but is well-liked and hard working. He is always seeking help from the elder agents (the Jedi Council), and eventually becomes a solid agent doing everything by the book.

Anakin Skywalker: This is the younger agent that starts in the business doing everything right. He makes the right connections and works his ass off training and recognizing market trends. He is talented. However, he realizes that he can get way more money if he starts screwing people over and becoming a huge asshole. He eventually fucks over everyone he knows and starts his own brokerage and becomes Vader.

Han Solo: This is the coolest agent in your office. He is probably having sex with the receptionist or at least one of the younger, hot assistants. He is also married to an absolute bombshell. You are not exactly sure how he gets his business, but you know he is killing it. He always comes into your office with a smirk and drops a one-liner that makes you say: "damn, this guy is the man."

Chewbacca: Chewy is the faithful agent assistant. He is not out there for himself, and he is loyal to his boss. He will do anything and everything to get a deal done for his boss. If he has to a show a house at 6AM on a Saturday in a blizzard he will do it because he knows he is rolling with Han.

Yoda: This is the person in your office that literally knows everything. Everyone turns to him for questions about anything real estate related. He has been in the industry since he was a fetus and has been training top agents forever.